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Coaching resources
Book List
Please avail yourself of this Books link to see the list
Articles from my Coaching Concepts
I am comitted to sharing an extract of all my coaching concepts and soft skills training material with you every week. For your convenience you can access any or all of these articles below.
I trust that you find this material both interesting and valuable for you and your journey, whatever your purpose. It also gives you some insights into my style and the things that matter to me - and hopefully to you.
Would you like to subscribe to me sending you my article each week?
It's easy, just go to contact me and tick the blog subscription box.
Please refer to the below Table for an index of all my blog articles, with the first few lines of each to whet your appetite with the introduction.
You may prefer to listen to the Audio version from the next colum. The audio versions are being added as I go along, and over time will cover all the blogs.
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Written Blog Link |
Audio Blog Link |
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129 |
What is your natural demeanour? Are you better known for a smile or a frown? Or perhaps that you are “just neutrally present”? How animated are you? Are you aware of the power of your smile? Do you use it to its greatest effect? |
smile-it suits you (audio) | |||
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128 |
Do you know what tribal influences and undercurrents exist in your company? Have you ever noticed how tribes have their own membership behavior codes and how their dynamics can cut across organizational structures? What “tribes” are you a member of? How aware are you of different “tribes” operating around you? What influences are they able to exert? What is a “tribe”? |
Tribal Influence (Audio) | |||
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127 |
How much time do you spend worrying? You know, concerning yourself about something that may or may not happen? How often does what you worry about actually manifest? Are you better known as a worrier or a warrior? How much time do you spend in your “left brain mind chatter” considering all the things that could go wrong? Or are you one of the few that has managed to bring this wasteful energy consumption under control? |
Why Worry (Audio) | |||
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126 |
What are you better known for: being too defensive or are you seen as more open minded? Are more protective of your own or can you also accept other viewpoints? Are you able to listen to other perspectives of do you feel more inclined to relate everything back to “what is right for you”? How defensive are you and when does that manifest most? |
Being too Defensive (Audio) | |||
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125 |
Are you “on the move” towards your goals or perhaps “stuck in the groove” of complacency? How’s your “get up and go”? Or has it perhaps “got up and gone”? How excited are you about the New Year 2012 ahead? Or is it a case of “here we go again”? It can be either way as we reflect on a year gone by and anticipate what might lie ahead in the year to come, can’t it? Time for a quick attitude check. Because it is just the way of looking at this that matters, right? |
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124 |
Have you ever been caught between a rock and a hard place in your career, where your integrity was challenged? How did you respond? What’s your track record? Any disappointments in your own standards or are you “squeaky clean”? Tough question? |
Doing the right thing (Audio) | |||
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123 |
How visible are you in your role? Do you prefer to work alone or together with others? If you are a leader, are you always seen in your office or are you known to be “around your troops?” Do you wait for your people to come to you or are you more out and about and amongst them? What is your preferred style? How comfortable are you amongst your people, or is your office a “safer place” for you? |
Walkabout (Audio) | |||
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122 |
Do you have a personal succession plan? That is, have you made provision for someone to succeed you? Where and how do you feature in your organization’s succession plan? How can you “move on” if you leave that to someone else manage? |
Succession Plan (Audio) | |||
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121 |
How “safe” do you think your job or role is? No matter how senior, do you really think that you are in a “secure” job or contract? “Secure role” has become a bit of an oxymoron, hasn’t it? Think about it – how quickly can and do things change? Look at your environment over the last few years – isn’t volatility simply part of the deal today? Do you really think they can’t change for you? Are you prepared and in control for when they do? | Secure Job (Audio) | |||
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120 |
How big is your ego? How often does it “get you into trouble”? Or at least have you reacted spontaneously to something that you considered “affronting” only to regret that impetuosity afterwards? How well can you control your ego, so it doesn’t get in the way? | Ego versus Outcome (Audio) | |||
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119 |
If I were to ask: who are you?” how might your respond? Would you say your role or title or your profession, or your faith? What would you say? You know, I’m a project manager, or a CEO or a mum etc. And if I said: “what defines you?” what might you say? Two questions that really go to the same “what is your life purpose” place, don’t they? Today’s blog is going to ask a lot more questions than it could hope to answer, as the answers will usually be very personal indeed to each and every one of you, however, I hope to create quite some awareness around this. | What defines us_ (Audio) | |||
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118 |
Are you known to be a decision maker? Do you usually make good decisions? What does that take? Do you sometimes “get them wrong”? Do you sometimes struggle to make decisions? Do you worry about getting them wrong? Are there some decisions you find harder to make than others? What’s the difference? |
Making good decisions_ (Audio) | |||
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117 |
How prevalent is “the blame game” in the culture of your organisation? How much more important is “looking good” than getting the right outcomes? How easy is it to point a finger at someone else when taking responsibility to learn from a mistake would perhaps convert the error into a future strength for everyone in the company? How good are you at “the blame game”? | The Blame Game (Audio) | |||
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116 |
How good are you at developing and maintaining a professional business network? Are you a connector? Is networking easy and fun for you, or is it a struggle? How would you like to be really good at it? What would that improve for you? Are you up to a networking challenge? |
A Networking Challenge (Audio) | |||
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115 |
How accepting are you of “it is like it is”? How well can you differentiate between what you can control and what you can’t? Are you more a “worrier” or more an “acceptor”? Are you always “in control”? Do you need to be? Does it “always have to be right”? Do you ever feel overwhelmed? |
Accepting it like it is (Audio) | |||
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114 |
Do you have a healthy sense of your own self worth? How often do you ask yourself or perhaps doubt whether you are “good enough” to accept or to do something? How often do you berate yourself or talk yourself down in your self-talk? Conversely, how often do you acknowledge yourself or praise yourself for having done well? Do you feel uncomfortable “blowing your own trumpet, and then put it down to “being too humble” to do so? Aren’t all of these a fairly typical indication of how we value ourselves? |
Self Worth (Audio) | |||
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113 |
How comfortably are you entrenched in your comfort zone? What does it take to get you out of it? Interesting thing the comfort zone, isn’t it? It’s so…. well – comfortable. And stretching ourselves out of it can often be quite scary, right? When last have you consciously set a goal or decided to do something that really stretched and challenged you and took you “way out there” past where you are comfortable? What made you do that? And how did it go in the end? | The Comfort Zone (Audio) | |||
| 112 |
Your career – Choice or Chance? If you were to reflect on your career, what would you say the ratio of choice versus chance would be, do you think? Did you or do you have a career plan that you are enthusiastically pursuing each month, each year, or did you “fall into your career”, like many of us did?Did you plan and pro-actively pursue each of your last say 3 roles, or did you also “fall into them”, often as a result of them “just happening” or someone approaching you for them? Whose agenda did you think they primarily served – yours or theirs? |
Your Career- Choice or Chance_ (Audi | |||
| 111 | If someone were to assess your level of business acumen, what do you think they might say? Would they compliment your astuteness, or your shrewdness or your commercial nouse or street smartness or would they suggest you still have lots to learn? How would you measure acumen? If you would you say that “you’ve got it”, how did you “get it”? |
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| 110 | What does “reaching the top” mean to you? Have you ever defined or described your “top”? How far do you think you are away from your “top”? What do you think it will take for you to reach your “top”? And once you have reached your “top”, what then? | See you at the TOP (Audio) | |||
| 109 | Have you heard people say “he was in the right place at the right time”? Happens quite a bit, doesn’t it? Have you had that occur to you that you have been in the right place at the right time? Or perhaps rued, in hindsight, that you weren’t in the right place at the right time when you missed an opportunity? How do we get ourselves to be in the right place at the right time? | Right place, Right time (Audio) | |||
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108 |
How do you perceive your role and yourself? Do you consider yourself to be a big fish in a big pond? Or a small fish in a big pond? Or maybe a big fish in a small pond? Or perhaps even a small fish in a small pond? It’s a matter of perspective, isn’t it? |
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| 107 | How committed are you to achieving what matters to you most? Are you known for your level of commitment? Is it often acknowledged as one of your strengths? Are you one that “makes things stick”? How often do you give yourself credit for your commitment? And how do you handle when “it doesn’t stick”? | Making it stick (Audio) | |||
| 106 | When you hear the word enthusiasm, does it remind you of other people or situations, or do you immediately associate that with yourself? What is your “normal switch position”? Are you naturally fired up? Does it show to those around you? Is it contagious? Does it inspire others? Or are you “plodding along” and often in need of inspiration from others? Too busy to care? Perhaps even annoyed by those “bright eyed and bushy tailed” people that are always smiling and always excited about what they are doing and where they are going? | ENTHUSIASM! (Audio) | |||
| 104 | Have you ever doubted yourself? You know – that feeling of uncertainty? A fear of whether you will be able to do something? Doubting whether you were “good enough”? Doubting your capabilities? Worrying about getting a decision wrong? | Self Doubt (Audio) | |||
| 103 | How much “spunk” do you have? You know – real guts or nouse to step up and do the unconventional to achieve the uncommon? Are you known more to be more “gutsy” or perhaps more cautious? Do you sometimes in hindsight wish you had been more audacious or daring? Or do you perhaps sometimes squirm inwardly at recognizing how you may have gone too far? Or perhaps you are such a forceful personality that you might not even notice that? Do you have what we call “chutzpah”? | Chutzpah (Audio) | |||
| 102 | If someone were to ask how much empathy you have, what might the answer be? Are you considered to be empathetic? How does that manifest? How aware are you of your empathy towards others? Is this one of your “people skills strengths”? Does empathy differentiate the quality of your communication skills? Or are you “too busy” for that? | Empathy (Audio) | |||
| 101 | How well disciplined are you? How good are you at doing what it takes every day to serve your cause or the outcomes you seek, no matter what? Is maintaining self-discipline easy for you or is it something you struggle with? When does it work for you and when doesn’t it? | Discipline (Audio) | |||
| 100 | What are you best known for: patience or intolerance; perseverance or frustration; calm or agitated? Would your critics suggest that you are a patient person or that you are more restless? When does impatience manifest for you? Are you aware of your “normal” position on this? Is exercising patience hard or easy for you? | Patience (Audio | |||
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99 |
What was your last milestone in your life’s work? How aware are you of your milestones? Do you recognize and celebrate them? Do you sometimes view them as “millstones”? Are you just “existing” day by day, year by year or are you on a grand mission to fulfill your purpose, planning, using and acknowledging relevant and significant milestones along the way? | Milestones (Audio) | |||
| 98 | How good are your budgeting skills? How practiced are you? How well do you use budgets to drive your success outcomes? How well do you use it in your sales process? Is it an art or a skill? | What’s your Budget_ (Audio) | |||
| 97 | If you were to observe your language, how often would you notice your use of the words: “I should”? Depending on the context, can you feel the feelings of guilt it can engender? You know, “I should be doing this assignment, but….”? Doesn’t the word “but” quite often feature together with the use of the word “should”? It is the futility of these little words I’d like to discuss today. | I Should (Audio) | |||
| 96 | Are you decisive about creating what you want? Do you take responsibility for what you achieve? Do you realize you have all the power over the choices and decisions you make? And that these choices usually allow you to make things happen; pro-actively? Or do you reactively blame everyone and everything else for where you are in life; powerless; a victim of circumstance? Resulting in your watching what happens or wondering what happened? | Cause & Effect (Audio) | |||
| 95 | Do you find that your mind is always thinking – non stop? You know, feeding you thoughts and having your ego challenging you all the time? How much credence do you give the thoughts you are always thinking in your “left brain mind chatter”? How well can you talk over them? Can you? Or do you allow them to define who you are? | It’s not what you think (audio) | |||
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94 |
What awareness do you have of rhythms prevalent in your life and around you? Do you notice that most things have a rhythm? Do you also experience that there are times when you are more in rhythm and others when you aren’t at all? Are you a better you when you are in rhythm?.... |
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93 |
Don’t you admire when you observe someone displaying the ability to cut down a lengthy dispensation down to the three or four key attributes that really matter? You know, summarizing the essence crisply and sharply? How well do you do that? What do you think it would change for you if you were really good at it? What are the aspects that make this so powerful?.... |
The Power of Summarizing (Audio) | |||
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92 |
How well do you manage spin? Are you able to recognize it and see through it? Do you still sometimes “fall for it”? How well are you able to subtly and cleverly use spin to further your outcomes? How clear is the dividing line for you?.... |
Managing Spin (Audio) | |||
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91 |
When last have you been at a funeral or a memorial service for someone that has passed away? Quite a sobering experience isn’t it? And if you’re anything like me, it tends to get one to reflect on our own life, doesn’t it? Making us realize how quickly things can change. That nothing is permanent. That we can’t take anything for granted. How futile it is to spend so much time agonizing or worrying about the future or replaying the past, over and over again. That we realize how worthwhile it is to live our life right here, right now.... |
Right here, right now (audio) | |||
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90 |
Coping – controlling the Email Monster How many unopened emails does your business email in-box contain right now? Do you know what’s in those emails that could “bite you”? How much are you in control of email? Or does it have control of you? Is it a work aide or has it become a “monster”? How can you get back on top of it? Would that be worthwhile pursuing if you could?... |
Coping – Controlling the Email Monster (Audio) | |||
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89 |
Coping: Getting on top of Meetings How much time do you waste in meetings? Do you feel you are spending more of your day in meetings and need get more of your work done “before and after work”? How much do you feel in control? How can we spend less time in meetings and maximize our time in those we do have to attend?.... |
Coping_ Getting on top of Meetings (Audio) | |||
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88 |
How well do you manage to stay on top of your game? You know, on top of each day? How well do you manage your priorities? Are you in control? Are you driving, or are you being driven? Do you find staying “ahead of the rest” is becoming more stressful? Wasn’t it meant to be a great source of fun and inspiration and enjoyment?.... |
Coping_ Staying on Top (Audio) | |||
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87 |
When last have you created some time “just for you”? To sharpen your axe? Not serving anyone else’s purpose but your very own? Are you one of the growing numbers of people spending most of your day in meetings and trying to do your job before and after work?.... |
Me Time (Audio) | |||
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86 |
When is a performance good enough? Does it have to be “perfect”? Where does excellence fit into these questions? Does “good enough” often feature as a question in your mind? When am I “good enough”? And when am I not?.... |
Good Enough (Audio) | |||
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85 |
So let’s say you are facing redundancy or have been made redundant. Was it a surprise? Was it “planned”? What impact will this have on your life? How can you “get back up again”? What are your options and how will you go about preventing re-occurrence?.... |
Getting back up (Audio) | |||
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84 |
I wonder how many of you have faced or experienced redundancy in your career? Or as leaders how many have had to lay someone off? It’s a tough time for everyone involved isn’t it? And I’d also be curious to know how many of you employed consider yours to be a ”safe” job or contract.... |
So you got shafted (audio) | |||
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83 |
Gesundheit! You might hear it mentioned in German speaking countries after someone has sneezed. Translated from German it would suggest: “good health”. |
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82 |
A picture says more than a thousand words. How well do you “speak in pictures”? How varied and flexible is your style of communication? Do you know when and how to use metaphors to your best effect and to help influence your outcomes?.... |
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81 |
One of my favourite questions I like to ask CEO’s is: “how many business improvement projects do you currently have running in your organization and what capacity do you think that is consuming across the business?” Capacity that whilst no doubt providing exciting growth challenges and opportunities for incumbents, it also distracts them from meeting or exceeding the expectations of their job and their clients as well as often creating significant stress in order for them to “stay on top”..... |
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80 |
Have you ever sat in a meeting and watched someone you aspired to “being as good as”? How can that make you feel? Inspired or frustrated? Encouraged or depressed? It’s a bit like the “glass half empty, glass half full” question, isn’t it? In today’s article I’d like to address this seemingly incessant comparison with others that some of my clients often seem to have..... |
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79 |
Other than describing someone as “temperamental”, have you heard or read much about “the four temperaments”? How well can you recognize them and utilize people’s dominant “personality” traits in improving your rapport and influencing skills?.... |
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78 |
How many of you struggle with the energy consumed with managing all of your and other people’s agenda’s? There are so many and their priorities vary so much, and the degree of control you have over them can cause so much pressure, can’t it? How do you get and stay on top of them?.... |
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77 |
How often do you think about how grateful are you for your lot in life? Living and working in “the lucky country” Australia we can so easily take so much of what we have for granted, can’t we? How often do we “forget that” and lose sight of how good we’ve got it?.... |
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76 |
One of the questions in my pre-executive coaching questionnaire is to imagine looking back on your life at age 90 and reflecting on what you would have achieved with it. If you continued exactly as you are today, would you be looking back more with satisfaction or perhaps regret? What would it take to change that? To “turn up the volume” or make the picture more compelling?.... |
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75 |
So as you reflect back on the year 2010 that was, what are the predominant thoughts? Disappointment? Guilt? Regret? Failure? Ambivalence? Satisfaction? Exuberance? Success? |
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74 |
What does momentum mean to you? Would you say that you have momentum in whatever it is that you are doing? Do things work better when you have momentum? How do you get momentum? And then how do you maintain it?.... |
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73 |
How do you know that you can trust somebody? How would they know that they can trust you? What is it that makes us trust someone? And what about respect? If you respect someone, does that also mean that you can trust them?.... |
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72 |
What might you be holding on to, that could be holding you back? What “baggage” could you still be carrying that might still get in the way of your success? How much longer do you still need to hold on to that and when do you think will it be the right time to “let it go?”.... |
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71 |
Have you noticed how what you focus on is often what you get? Have you experienced any co-incidences recently? Have there been some things that have come to pass that you just wonder: “how on earth…?” Can be quite scary sometimes, can’t it? Or have you sometimes allowed your mind to dwell on a worry or a fear and then realized that it actually came to pass?.... |
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70 |
If I asked someone that knows you well about how visible you are, what do you think they might say? Today I’d like to address personal and professional visibility – your visibility, something I believe to be a vital part of any success, whether you are employed, contracted or consulted.... |
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69 |
Do you have any mentors? How did you find them? What do they help you with? Is it a worthwhile relationship to invest in? What are you missing out on if you don’t have (a) mentor(s)?.... |
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68 |
How well do you “manage your boss”? Are you passive towards this concept or do you have pro-active strategies that help you “manage up”? If you are the boss, do you make allowances for your subordinates to help “manage you up”?.... |
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67 |
How well do you edify others around you? When you tell the person you are speaking with about someone else, would they be looking forward to meeting them with anticipation? Are you known to be the “good finder” or are you better known as the “nit-picker?” It’s another one of those attitude choices, isn’t it?.... |
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66 |
What do you know about meditation? What is your position on it? Are you open minded towards it? Or is it maybe “something whacky” for you? Have you ever tried it? Have you ever wondered if you could, and if you did, whether it might work for you, or even help?.... |
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65 |
Jean Nidetch left us with a great quote: “it’s choice not chance that determines your destiny”. How true has that been for you? Just reflect back on your life briefly – have most of the things that matter to you “just fallen into place” or did they follow some choices and decisions that you made? |
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64 |
Hear about the African tribe whose rain dance transcended every other? They simply danced until it rained. Transferring that wisdom into our life and work realms, there is quite a lesson there, isn’t there? How often do we get inspired by something to do something and start racing towards achieving its “something” with great enthusiasm? And then we hit a few bumps and obstacles and can so easily lose momentum, can’t we? And then?.... |
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63 |
Whether you are an executive, a professional a business owner or an employee, have you got a current set of key performance indicators (KPI’s) to keep your performance on track towards your goals? |
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62 |
How big is your vision for yourself? Do you have one? Can you visualize who, where or how you will be in 10 or 20 or 30 years from now? Or do you function like most of us that are so busy doing that we have either lost sight of our vision, or perhaps never even had one? It isn’t really something that is taught very well these days, is it? Or has it ever been taught very well?.... |
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61 |
This week’s blog article is specifically targeted at those of you who may be willing to admit that doing what it takes to get actively good at “networking” can be a pretty big stretch outside of your comfort zone. In my coaching, grooming mentoring and training work, I often encounter “professionals” that know they should develop their network, but find it very challenging. So I thought I’d outline some of the strategies I have learned that may help “get you off the couch”..... |
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60 |
Have you noticed how some people just seem to “stand out” from others? Is it because they keep projecting themselves, as in a determined act, or is it simply inherent? Is it presence, or their behaviour, or their enthusiasm? Isn’t it interesting that it is so often found in leaders? But it’s not only in leaders, is it? Everyone can display it. How about you? Are you someone that “has it”? Or do you wish you “have it”? What do you believe is true for you?.... |
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59 |
Can you recall a time recently where you noticed somebody REALLY listening to you? You know, genuine uninterrupted listening? Paying you their full attention? Actually taking in everything you were saying? Maintaining eye contact? Undistracted? Acknowledging you? Respecting that they thought you have something to say and that they were interested in hearing it?.... |
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58 |
Today I’d like to share a concept that has featured strongly in my coaching sessions with numerous clients this last week. It focuses on recalling what made an outcome they were particularly proud of as successful as it was, and using those attributes as a case study to help drive their ongoing successes..... |
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57 |
We all need to have a feeling of belonging, don’t we? Starting with being a baby, right through to when our innings is over. Think about all the different groups or clubs or associations or organisations – formal or informal – you have belonged to. And think about how your actions might sometimes (or even often) be driven by your need or sense of belonging. Something bigger than just ourselves..... |
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56 |
What does living and working at “the edge” mean to you? How do you know where your edge is? How often have you “pushed the envelope*” and had to suffer a setback as you found where the edge was. Or are you “coasting” through life, well within your boundaries, taking no risks so that you can’t fail? Are you using all your talents to live an exciting and stimulating life, or does “that edge” just appear too dangerous? A matter of perspective, isn’t it?.... |
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55 |
This week I’d like to take “Who is on your team?” from a few weeks ago one notch further. Who are your friends and why are they your friends? How many of them are “old friends” and how many have you added in the last years? How much contact do you have with them? Are they only friends “when in need”? Is life too busy to be in touch?.... |
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54 |
The purpose of this article is to help position accountability, responsibility and authority for the benefit of those going through the sometimes painful and hopefully liberating experience of delegation for the first time in their transition from being a “specialist” to being a “manager or leader”. It is an equally important reminder of the obligation of those of us already in leadership positions to teach and coach these skills to those new to the art of delegation..... |
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53 |
Are you part of the Problem or Solution? When you encounter a pretty serious obstacle or challenge, do you sometimes get so involved in its resolution that you run the risk of getting stuck in the problem and allowing that to get in the way of possible solutions? With other words, are you part of the problem or are you part of the solution?.... |
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52 |
Isn’t it amazing how powerful an emotion hope can be? |
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51 |
Who are the people around you that mean most to you in your life and life’s work? People you can call on, come what may? Loved ones, family, friends, associates, colleagues, mates, professionals etc? Who are the people that you can rely on to help you make your successes happen? Who is on your team?.... |
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50 |
Are you known for being “on the front bench” driving and making things that matter happen or are you sometimes seen more in the opposition ranks criticizing, opposing and “being an obstacle”? How do you think you are seen most of the time by most people around you? |
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49 |
Most of you will have heard the story of the very young, high ego apprentice woodcutter, who simply had to end each day with the highest number of trees felled out of his team. Hard working and very determined, eventually he would have to get up earlier and work longer each day in order to stay ahead. His peers smiled, asking him when he was going to “get a life”. He simply continued busily trying to keep beating them, falling into exhausted sleep as soon as he returned at night. Finally one evening when he returned after | ||||
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48 |
Can you recall when last you experienced the sensation of “goosebumps”? You know, the bristling of the hair on your skin or a tingling up your spine. It’s a strange feeling, isn’t it? |
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47 |
How often have you heard someone say: “from my perspective, I….”? |
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46 |
Are you living and working your life in alignment with your values? I call my values the “standards and rules” we set ourselves by which, together with our beliefs we measure or judge “good and bad” as well as “right or wrong”. They form part of our identity. They shape our lives and give us purpose. |
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45 |
You’ve all heard the one about the chaps that got together and formed a procrastination club haven’t you? That’s right; they just haven’t got around to having their first meeting yet. |
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44 |
When last can you remember to have experienced complete silence? Did it also feel strange to you? Why does it feel so strange when we experience silence? It seems we aren’t comfortable when there isn’t “something happening” around us. Isn’t it remarkable that we have become so accustomed to constant “noise” such that when it isn’t there we feel strange?.... |
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43 |
When last have you recognized that you have crossed over a new threshold, or that you are facing a new threshold? We face them all the time, don’t we? Often without realizing that..... |
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42 |
What is your predominant leadership style? Are you seen as more “authoritarian” or more “consultative”? |
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41 |
What is your track record of delivering what you promised? How good is your image “out there” as one who always does what you said you would? Reliably? Consistently? |
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40 |
When you visualize something how do you see it in “your mind’s eye”? Do you look at it through your own eyes? Or do you perhaps look at it “from outside of yourself”, that is that you see yourself in the picture? How “attached” are you to what you see? Or are you able to “detach” yourself from it, that is not to become emotionally involved? |
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39 |
What do you say when you talk to yourself? Is your self talk uplifting, nurturing and sustaining? Or does it dwell on your mistakes, and berate your behaviour or your thinking?.... |
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38 |
The left brain and the right brain Is your head constantly full of thoughts? Always “chattering”? Always analyzing? Always judging, criticizing, commenting, challenging? How much time to you spend in your “right brain”? Using your intuition? Looking at your “big picture”? |
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37 |
How versatile are you in your communication? How many different techniques are you willing to try on to help you achieve better outcomes? I’d like to deal with one of those today, which I have called “drip feeding”. It is another concept I frequently share with my executive coaching clients..... |
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36 |
How well do others know what your expectations are of them? How do you know what others expectations are of you? How well do you manage expectations? |
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35 |
Have you ever noticed in a crowded room that a few people “just stand out” above the others? You know, they just have “that something” that makes others “defer to them” or that others look to them for answers? Or have you sometimes experienced someone walk into the room and everyone seems to notice? They appear somehow to be a “somebody”, don’t they?.... |
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Power over ourselves and others How do you use your power? How do you feel when someone else excercises power over you? Have you ever abused your power over someone or something? |
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33 |
When we think of a belief, it can be a real truth for us can’t it? That’s the way it is (for us). That’s the way we see it working. That’s what we believe. It’s quite hard to argue with a belief, right? To judge a belief right or wrong is also quite futile. Like faith. Is being of the Christian versus Jewish or Muslim faith right or wrong, or better or worse? It’s what we have come to believe for ourselves, sometimes by conditioning and sometimes by personal choice. Usually both. Often we have developed them into very strong positions that we defend vehemently..... |
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32 |
How would you like to “fast track” the path to the outcomes you seek? You know, avoid unnecessary steps? Save time? Get there faster? |
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31 |
If you were to imagine yourself at age 90, with all your faculties about you, and to be reflecting back on your life’s work, what do you think might prevail – satisfaction or regret? Who do you think you will be remembered by and what do you think you will be remembered for? Go on: just allow your mind to wander through this future pace. Unusual request, isn’t it?.... |
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30 |
Are you living and working your life in balance? How well are you in balance? Balance as in: To bring into or keep in equal or satisfying proportion or harmony. My purpose today is to look at balance in the sense of our “life’s work”. One has often heard the term “he or she is out of balance” or that a specific situation is “a balancing act”..... |
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29 |
This is the process of “making goals happen”. |
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28 |
I’d like to illustrate the power of goals with the story of the study done at Harvard University back in the 1950’s, where when the new intake was asked who had written goals on their person, only 3% responded. When those students were surveyed again some 30 years later, it was found that those 3% with written goals on them had created 97% of the wealth of all those students. Powerful stuff..... |
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27 |
As we close one chapter and start another, us humans like to make some commitments to ourselves for the year ahead, don’t we? I have often done the same. And if you are anything like me, how often do they actually last beyond Easter before they fade away into obscurity with some rationalised dismissal?.... |
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26 |
At this time in our culture, we like to look back and reflect on the year that’s been. It’s also a time when we think of all the people who have touched our lives and our work again in this past year. Those in our closest and extended family, friends we might have grown up with or developed along the way, new people we have met on our networking journey and those that we have been associated with for longer.... |
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25 |
“What’s the worst that can happen”? Sometimes quite a liberating question when confronting something worrying us, in that when we look for answers to this incisive question, we often realize that it doesn’t look so bad after all, does it?.... |
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24 |
I learned from a multimillionaire networking guru that he divided people into two basic categories:
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23 |
Can you recall the feeling when you woke up at 4:00 am in the morning to catch a flight or start a drive to some fantastic holiday experience? Literally leaping out of bed? Can you? Can you recall the energy; the unbridled enthusiasm and joy and “jumping out of your skin” anticipation of the freedom and good times ahead? It’s such a liberating feeling, isn’t it? |
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22 |
We’ve all heard the cliché: “no pain – no gain”, implying that “nothing comes from nothing”. A good work ethic has taught us that we need to apply ourselves in order to bring anything of value about; that if we really want something, that there is usually a price attached to our achieving it, right? That there is no prize without paying the price..... |
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21 |
Pro-active, Positive and Responsible One of my mentors often speaks of your base attitude towards anything you do needing to be pro-active, positive and responsible. |
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20 |
Have you ever noticed how much “mind chatter” is going on within our heads at any time? Our thoughts never seem to stop, do they? And how big a distraction can they be? |
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19 |
It’s not what you make – it’s what you keep and it’s what you do with what you keep that determines whether you do what you “have to” do or what you “want to” do in life..... |
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18 |
So somebody makes a pretty direct statement to and about you. Like: “you’re wrong!” How does that make you feel? Cornered maybe? Defensive? Challenged? It doesn’t feel good, does it? |
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17 |
When last have you surprised someone close to you? For example with flowers for a loved one? Or a surprise gift, just “out of the blue”? When last has someone done that for you? Isn’t it a wonderful feeling of recognition, particularly because it wasn’t expected? How good is the surprise turn of events in a movie or in the theater? Isn’t the surprise of the punchline that makes a good joke such a good joke?.... |
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16 |
So when you face a challenge…. Challenges can appear in any form at any time in our life and work, right? How do we deal with them? How much do we let them affect us? Some people are able to simply “brush them off” whilst some of us allow them to really mess up our day or even worse, let them affect how we feel about ourselves..... |
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15 |
How good are you at “I don’t know”? So one of the children drops a question from the back seat of the family car, and you don’t know the answer. Those of us with kids have all been there, haven’t we? What do you do? How well do you handle such a situation where “you don’t know”? Own up? Mask it? Fib something? (Remember that your actions speak so loudly, your children often don’t hear what you say).... |
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14 |
Confidence, Certainty and Doubt How many times have you heard: “he or she knows their stuff, but they just lack confidence..”? Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? Surely confidence comes from “knowing your stuff”? Or does it? We’ve all experienced a lack of confidence from time to time, despite that, haven’t we? Either in others as well as sometimes in ourselves. So what is this “confidence thing”?.... |
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13 |
I’m sure you have asked yourself the question: “how much am I worth?” It often surfaces around annual salary increment time or when we go after a new job and find ourselves in interviews or negotiations, doesn’t it?... |
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12 |
Recognition and the place for Criticism and Praise Can you recall when last you were recognised, acknowledged, thanked or praised in your workplace and in your home? It sure feels good, doesn’t it? |
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11 |
Moving Away versus Moving Towards Most people will spend much more energy moving away from something they don’t want than moving towards something they do want. Many of us probably don’t realize how significant an impact both can have for our “outlook on life”..... |
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10 |
What is your purpose? |
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9 |
A lot of these concepts we have dealt with in my blogs so far are such serious stuff, aren’t they? |
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8 |
There seems to be one thing guilty of holding us back more than anything else: Fear. So what are we so afraid of? Fear of failure; fear of people; fear of making a fool of ourselves; fear of loss, fear of making a poor decision or making a commitment, fear of the unfamiliar, even fear of success – the list is endless, isn’t it?.... |
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7 |
Can you remember a time in your life when you were really down in the dumps? You know, really sad or depressed? Can you? Can you recall a specific time right now? Remember it? Can you put yourself into the memory of that time? Isn’t it amazing how we can let a memory have such an impact on us and how we feel mentally and physically right now, just by recalling it? This is what we call putting ourselves in a state..... |
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6 |
Still under the banner of “self leadership” this blog is a further concept related to your “honing your attitude” so that you can be the best you that you can be. So are you someone that waits for others to “bring” you what you want (like an attitude of “you owe me”) or are you someone that “fetches” what you want?.... |
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5 |
This goes right to the question of who is really in control of your life and work, and whether you have given that to others, as many of us so often unknowingly do. Here’s my challenge: have you kept control of the things that really matter in your life’s work or have you allowed others to overly influence that?.... |
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4 |
Using “the Gap” to reframe yourself Have you ever responded to something and regretted it almost the moment you said it, you know – “why did I say that?”, or “oh my goodness, that just came out so wrong?” It can happen so quickly, and have such consequences too, can’t it? Particularly on the business stage. This is why I teach all my clients the concept of “the gap” or what some call “hitting the pause button”..... |
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3 |
Do you make things happen, watch what happens, The first of these concepts is the subject question of whether you make, watch or wonder what happened. In coaching jargon we speak of differentiating “at cause” from “at effect” attitudes and behaviours. It is the first of many choices that I believe we need to make in “self leadership”..... |
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2 |
Soft Skills for “hard skilled” professionals This is my first blog, by which I would like to introduce myself. |
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